a letter to churches regarding sexual abuse
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
This is a letter to churches in general. Many churches have no clue how to handle dark issues like sexual abuse and some people pretend that it does not happen. How free can we really be in Christ if we fail to look at how depraved we are as a human race and how much we really need a Savior/Jesus?
I have been a believer since I was a kid but it has taken me many years to see that truly no sin whatsoever is too big for Jesus to forgive. He is outside of our limitations of time and knew before we even existed what sins we would commit but yet he still chose us and loves us regardlessly. He knows the intentions of our hearts and he still loves us with a never-ending, never-giving up, and endless love. He not only died for the sins that we have committed so we can be reconciled to him but he also died for the sins committed AGAINST us so that all the defilement and filth can be completely wiped away from our souls and we can stand in a pure white gown in front of our Creator and be accepted. He willingly exchanged his righteousness for our wrath that God poured out onto him in our place. Now if we are in him, God sees Christ's righteousness when he looks at us. When he turned his back to Jesus on the cross, he faced us with open arms. This is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that Jesus completely absorbed God's wrath for those who believe. His wrath is still reserved for those who reject him but forgiveness is free and available to ALL who believe.
I was sinned against when I was 11 years old. I was sexually molested repeatedly by a pedophile over a long period of time. I was so ashamed of what had happened to me that I thought that I did something to deserve it. It took me 10 years to open up about my abuse because the shame was literally killing me on the inside. The statistics are staggering: 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. These are only the cases reported to the authorities. When it comes to boys being sexually abused, studies suggest that only 5-20% of all cases are actually reported.... the numbers are terrifying but so is reality. It is a real problem and the church must act or people will never find true healing and hope that Jesus has to offer. I challenge you to take a look at yourselves because statistically there are other little Robis in the church who are being abused right now or have been abused in the past and are living in silence and shame! We must address the issue and not pretend that it is not happening.
When I opened up about my abuse in 1999, I was told by various sources that I should be "selective" as to who I should tell about it. Looking back, I know this was wrong. It just poured out more shame onto me and I struggled for another 10 years and never dealt with the secondary issues of the abuse on my life. After all, there is no more shame for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). It is my calling to be open about my abuse and show others that there is freedom in Christ and that healing is possible. Although complete healing is never possible on this earth, that's why we should be constantly looking forward to that time when we we get to meet our Creator face to face. Though the healing process is extremely painful, God calls us to bear our own crosses and follow him NO MATTER THE COST. He is worth it!. If we want to live a Christian life that is real and open we have to choose to be open about our own sins and the sins committed against us. We can either choose to be fake and pretend to live a Christian life,( in doing this, we are allowing Satan to have a stronghold in our lives,) OR we can be real and honest with each other and accept our brokenness and dependence on Christ. Ultimately when we pretend everything is OK, we are denying our need for a Savior (the breaking of the first commandment). We often choose to play Christians and sweep things under the carpet and pretend to be righteous and holy when on the inside we are rotten and struggling with hate, pornographic addictions, and other various perversions. God knows and forgives our struggles and we cannot hide anything from him. He tells us that our attempts to be righteous are like bloody tampons and piles of feces. My challenge to you is to be real, be honest, and show the same love towards each other that Christ has shown to you. Stop pretending!
You can read the letter that I wrote to my abuser here: http://robiunc.blogspot.com/2011/11/letter-to-man-who-sexually-molested-me.html
I write this in sincerest love because of him who died, rose again,and can identify with every struggle we as humans face,
Robi Fleming
This is a letter to churches in general. Many churches have no clue how to handle dark issues like sexual abuse and some people pretend that it does not happen. How free can we really be in Christ if we fail to look at how depraved we are as a human race and how much we really need a Savior/Jesus?
I have been a believer since I was a kid but it has taken me many years to see that truly no sin whatsoever is too big for Jesus to forgive. He is outside of our limitations of time and knew before we even existed what sins we would commit but yet he still chose us and loves us regardlessly. He knows the intentions of our hearts and he still loves us with a never-ending, never-giving up, and endless love. He not only died for the sins that we have committed so we can be reconciled to him but he also died for the sins committed AGAINST us so that all the defilement and filth can be completely wiped away from our souls and we can stand in a pure white gown in front of our Creator and be accepted. He willingly exchanged his righteousness for our wrath that God poured out onto him in our place. Now if we are in him, God sees Christ's righteousness when he looks at us. When he turned his back to Jesus on the cross, he faced us with open arms. This is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that Jesus completely absorbed God's wrath for those who believe. His wrath is still reserved for those who reject him but forgiveness is free and available to ALL who believe.
I was sinned against when I was 11 years old. I was sexually molested repeatedly by a pedophile over a long period of time. I was so ashamed of what had happened to me that I thought that I did something to deserve it. It took me 10 years to open up about my abuse because the shame was literally killing me on the inside. The statistics are staggering: 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. These are only the cases reported to the authorities. When it comes to boys being sexually abused, studies suggest that only 5-20% of all cases are actually reported.... the numbers are terrifying but so is reality. It is a real problem and the church must act or people will never find true healing and hope that Jesus has to offer. I challenge you to take a look at yourselves because statistically there are other little Robis in the church who are being abused right now or have been abused in the past and are living in silence and shame! We must address the issue and not pretend that it is not happening.
When I opened up about my abuse in 1999, I was told by various sources that I should be "selective" as to who I should tell about it. Looking back, I know this was wrong. It just poured out more shame onto me and I struggled for another 10 years and never dealt with the secondary issues of the abuse on my life. After all, there is no more shame for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). It is my calling to be open about my abuse and show others that there is freedom in Christ and that healing is possible. Although complete healing is never possible on this earth, that's why we should be constantly looking forward to that time when we we get to meet our Creator face to face. Though the healing process is extremely painful, God calls us to bear our own crosses and follow him NO MATTER THE COST. He is worth it!. If we want to live a Christian life that is real and open we have to choose to be open about our own sins and the sins committed against us. We can either choose to be fake and pretend to live a Christian life,( in doing this, we are allowing Satan to have a stronghold in our lives,) OR we can be real and honest with each other and accept our brokenness and dependence on Christ. Ultimately when we pretend everything is OK, we are denying our need for a Savior (the breaking of the first commandment). We often choose to play Christians and sweep things under the carpet and pretend to be righteous and holy when on the inside we are rotten and struggling with hate, pornographic addictions, and other various perversions. God knows and forgives our struggles and we cannot hide anything from him. He tells us that our attempts to be righteous are like bloody tampons and piles of feces. My challenge to you is to be real, be honest, and show the same love towards each other that Christ has shown to you. Stop pretending!
You can read the letter that I wrote to my abuser here: http://robiunc.blogspot.com/2011/11/letter-to-man-who-sexually-molested-me.html
I write this in sincerest love because of him who died, rose again,and can identify with every struggle we as humans face,
Robi Fleming
posted by robiunc at
9:08 AM
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